I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
