Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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