I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
