This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
