yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
