i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
