so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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