if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
