I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
