Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
