FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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