I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
