Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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