I think scott just propositioned me for sex
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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