once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
