I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
