At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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