So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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