I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize