Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
