he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you win again, gameday.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
