I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
