I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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