i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
