How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Mom said you looked used
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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