Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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