Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
