She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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