I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
