Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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