Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
