We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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