Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
