In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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