Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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