OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
