what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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