Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
