I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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