I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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