I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
