So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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