YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
