I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
