I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
