I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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