hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
