last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This house was built for laser tag.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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