Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
