I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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