when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
