Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
