Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I can't turn off my feet"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
