Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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