i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
