two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
