i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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