I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize