You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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