so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
