I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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