I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize