Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
