oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
