so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
