Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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