Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
